Getting Back Into It

I need to get back to yoga classes. But I was so frustrated last time I went by the instructor. Yea, I go to the classes at 24 Hour Fitness but still I expect a good yoga teacher as I've had many times. I need to drag a friend along with me to go the first few times so I'm accountable to having to go instead of making excuses in my head n just going back to sleep.

It's ironic that I fell off the yoga wagon after the most stressful event of my life (my mom's heart attack a few months ago). In a way it shot my motivation for doing things while it made me sit and stare at the lake for a good 2 hours. Funny how a sudden appreciation for little things makes you completely zone out n fall inwards. Even though she was fine, it still knocked me on my ass enough. At least we were on vacation, I don't think I would've handled social situations very well. I did become irritable about little things like my boyfriend's step-dad making comments to my dad about putting mayo on his sandwich. Of course my dad can stand up for himself and told him to fuck off right in front of me. Concern for myself had completely drained from my mind after those few days at the lake. As usual my focus became taking care of everyone else, the typical female job. I shutdown for the most part, just my blank face with eyes shut as I laid on the balcony swing. Listening to the crickets and the water was the closest to relaxation I'd get. My last yoga session by myself was the previous day. It was nice, with a view even. Now that I think about it, my motivation was zapped and that's what needs to be built up again.

I'm not a naturally athletic person, never have been and never will be. But as I've spoken about in previous posts, I'm now trying to spend time on doing things that are good for me whether its what I eat or working out. I need me-time sometimes, though I do enjoy taking care of the people I love. I don't enjoy being a personal reminder system or a maid, etc...blah blah blah. And so I'm looking for rewarding things for ME.

My goal for the month has been to start running, which is going well so far. I've put the headphones on and ran, not far but its the act of going for it that counts. Generally past the pool and down the trail through the neighborhood and back through the dog park to my house. Simple really. Hopefully this next month I can get myself to a yoga class too. Perhaps Sunday mornings, though the Sunday instructors are always such....they favor the beginners too much. I don't want to "stretch" my feet for five minutes. That's a waste of the hour if you ask me. I want to show up and engage myself throughout the class. Not pussy out with beginner exercises.

It would be nice to get back to the point where I can comfortably do my own routine at home. But that took awhile to do. I downloaded yoga position apps for my phone, bought a book all about the poses and working through a routine day by day. Somehow I had become obsessed with it. Most likely because I was getting me-time in a room full of people that were looking for the same thing--concentration and a peaceful hour that's all about you. Gaining flexibility and a noticeable difference in my core were the cherry on top.

Let's see if I can do this. Being that the spring school semester starts on Tuesday for me will ad a challenge. Homework on top of work, on top of goals. Winter break has been dull and full of working so I welcome back classes, lectures, and things to think about. I can manage if I really try.