A Letter: Rushing In

Dear 20 year old girls,

Yes, I just called you girls. You are not women yet though you may think you are. A woman is the adult version of a girl. A woman has a job to support herself or a partner/parents to aid her. She is old enough to make her own choices, and rent a car. A woman also is intelligent enough to know that even though her uterus can hold and bare children---it should not...because YOU'RE FUCKING 20 YEARS OLD. What's so hard to understand about: finish college, get a job, establish long term relationship, THEN marry. Can we all please stop and remember how old we are and what era this is? Sure as hell isn't the 1950s! At least there was long term dating in the 1950s!

Getting to know your partner is part of the process. If you met in person or online, there's no difference. It's the time spent together, learning about the stupid habits that bug the crap out of you and the awful smells/sounds that come out of that boyfriend of yours....yes, your boyfriend WILL fart on you (sorry but it happens, I've been drooled and farted on but I love him nonetheless). Anyways, it's the stupid annoying habits that help you decide whether this person is for you or not. Of course you love them, but after the honeymoon period (first 6 months) is over you may realize that the "love" may have just been obsession or infatuation....or you're crazy and just want everything right NOW.

Marriage is a decision to spend your life (forever) with your partner, aka til you're dead as a doornail in the ground. I hope you all think before you go through that Vegas drive-thru or back alley "ordained" minister. Take it through the seasons and see all the different sides of the person you love, it either destroys you or makes you love them more. Also note: the economy sucks, I hope the one you've chosen is a rich man.

Sincerely,
Someone who would like to see everyone at her 10 Year High School Reunion NOT divorced

This IS the Droid you're looking for

Alright, alright. I couldn't resist naming it something straight out of Star Wars, my inner geek wanted out on that one thing. But then I thought "hey, why not let the inner geek out for a bit for this blog?" And so, I did.

Oh Apple, how I love your MacBook Pro that I use, but I'm not an iPhone user. Though I may know a few people who have them, I don't really ever want an iPhone. Something I do want? The Motorolla DROID.

This thing is badass. Who wants an iPhone when you can have a DROID? This thing is ridiculous. My brother skipped into the room like a little kid on Christmas to show me the online video of it on engadget.com, which I suggest you watch to get a better understanding of how this phone works. But wait, you need to have Verizon. Sorry, ATT but your service sucks and you have the iPhone anyways. Sprint won't be getting this gem either, since they have every Blackberry ever made.

First off, this phone has the ability to do quite a few things that the iPhone can not. This is illustrated in the following commercial:



Fortunately the DROID can do all of these things. Impressive, yes? Quick summary!

DROID
1. Full QWERTY keyboard
2. Touchscreen front
3. Works as a GPS in the car
4. Shifts to an media center when docked----music, alarm clock
5. Runs multiple widget at the same time



I know that this Christmas will be a cheaper Christmas than most being that our economic climate is currently down. But the DROID offers a break from most expensive gifts during the holiday season. The DROID will be $199 with contract (likely to be a 2yr agreement like most Verizon plans), not bad. I expected a higher pricetag for this phone, thankfully I was surprised.

DROID goes on sale via Verizon online + Verizon store on November 6th 2009. Check it out now on engagdet.com: http://www.engadget.com/2009/10/28/motorola-droid-first-hands-on/

Book of Attention Whore: Chapter 1

This blog is titled Book of the Attention Whore for a reason. It is the first, of many likely "chapters" of what the attention whores in my life are doing. Somebody has to say something because it's fricken annoying. Let's starts with a definition from UrbanDictionary.com:

"A person who, regardless of whether or not they are attached, will seek out the attention of other males/females to make themself feel important. Usually found on internet forums and voice programs using whatever charms, bodily parts, etc. they may have to make themself appear more attractive to the opposite sex, even though it couldn't be farther from the truth. Some attention whores become agitated and intimidated when another member of the same sex garners more attention than themself and they become hostile and lash out. Will do almost anything to get the attention they seek including posing naked or half naked for pictures and posting them everywhere for all to see...and become increasingly sick to."

Today I logged onto my Facebook page after I got out of the shower. Just to check my wall for any comments or responses to the ridiculous crap that I post from time to time (funny videos or links). My news feed tells me who is at work, what girl misses her boyfriend, and how disappointed quite a few people are that the Angels lost the game last night. But low and behold there's a picture of someone's butt.

"Oh hello, someone's butt! Why are you on Facebook? We all know you're single and ready to mingle, but is this necessary?"

No it wasn't a bare ass, but it was a picture of an ass none-the-less. She was showing off new clothes, which seems innocent enough (though its not if you saw the actual picture). I read the comments. Of course there were a few innuendoes, and a sperm joke. I wonder if that makes her feel better about herself? Knowing that some guy friend would "hit that" or "superman dat ho", as his comment implied.

I don't see how a girl can just be like hmm let's throw my dignity out the window and take some pictures. "Check it out guys, I don't have a saggy butt! It's nice right? Now let me know all the dirty things you're thinking". That's the message it sends. There was another incident with an "ass posting" again this week but this time it was another girl with her friend.
This is your main picture? Really? Congrats, you've just made my blog. Yes I can post your stuff because its publicly displayed, sucks huh? You're a legal adult, I felt bad for all of 5 seconds. You posted it for all your friends to oogle at.

Book of Attention Whore, chapter 1: Post a picture of ur ass on Facebook to receive a multitude of lude comments/inuendos from male friends.

20 Life Lessons

Have you ever wanted to smack someone because they have dug themselves a hole? Gotten themselves into trouble when it was easy to avoid? I sure have! This list is compiled from real life experiences of the people we know and love. I hope you enjoy, and maybe add a few.

LIFE LESSONS WHICH WE ALL MUST OBSERVE:

1. Graduating high school doesn't make you smart. It just means you don't completely fail at life.

2. Date someone for at least a year before getting married. You don't know someone fully until you take it through the seasons, as my dad says.

3. Wen insulting some1 on the internet using bad propr gramar n spellin makes U look like a retard.

4. Always talking about yourself may impact your social life.

5. If you are a hefty person, don't wear mini skirts, or mini anything. Dress properly for your form.

6. Do not go work at a place like Hooter's without having Hooters. Otherwise, it's just wrong.

7. There is always a poor drunk girl at a party. Keep her away from men n pointy objects.

8. Don't walk home alone, no matter how "safe" your city is.

9. Crackheads carry knives. BIG knives.

10. If you need to throw up after drinking, do not do so into your wicker trash can.

11. Telling more than half our friends the same secret makes it public knowledge.

12. Bro kids in raised trucks are compensating for a lack of....well, they have a tiny penis.

13. This is very important---All naked pictures are leaked to the internet. ALL OF THEM.

14. Leaving a party with some guy you just met (while having or not having a boyfriend) is a bad idea. Nobody will believe that "nothing happened".

15. Don't try to convince girls with boyfriends that they are in love with you.

16. Walking alone at night in the bad end of town is a bad idea, even if you're "walking with Jesus". This won't stop you from being raped.

17. Losing your virginity should happen when both people have chosen to have sex, sober. So that both people may be able to recollect the event.

18. Throwing fireworks near your neighbor's boat = boat on fire + hefty bill.

19. Don't bring religious items or books to parties. It's pointless n you look like a zealous idiot.

20. Close the damn door when you pee. Just do it.

All of the above have been agreed upon by @beawarriorqueen and myself. I loved making this list, it was a good laugh remembering some of the stories in which they came from. For every "I told ya so" moment there's a lesson. Hopefully some people will be able to avoid those ridiculous mistakes. Do you have any to add?

Obsessive Compulsive 1231

"Obsessive–compulsive disorder (OCD) is a mental disorder characterized by intrusive thoughts that produce anxiety, by repetitive behaviors aimed at reducing anxiety, or by combinations of such thoughts (obsessions) and behaviors (compulsions). The symptoms of this anxiety disorder range from repetitive hand-washing and extensive hoarding to preoccupation with sexual, religious, or aggressive impulses."

I have OCD. I know I do and don't need a doctor to diagnose me. He'll just want to give me medication for it, which I do not need. I have it under control and it doesn't usually interfere with my life. My mom said that I was "so OCD" about things a few years back, so I looked into it and discovered that it described the exact way I felt. Self-diagnosis isn't appropriate for most mental disorders like depression or bipolarity. If you think you have either of those go to the doctor because they can help you. But in my case, I don't believe that I need to take medicine every day for this.

Every OCD person has certain behavioral habits, mine are typical things. Like counting how many times I touch things or having to straighten everything. Lids need to be a certain way on containers. I have to shake my soy milk and orange juice cartons before placing them back inside the fridge. I have a million little things.

Right now I'm typing a sentence and I'll probably erase half of it and re-type it again. Sometimes I do this more than once. It irritates me but I have to do it. If I don't then I feel like something bad will happen. Sometimes I try not to do my stupid OCD habits but I fail because of this:

"While some with OCD perform compulsive rituals because they inexplicably feel they must, others act compulsively so as to mitigate the anxiety that stems from particular obsessive thoughts. The sufferer might feel that these actions somehow either will prevent a dreaded event from occurring, or will push the event from their thoughts."

Picture frames must be straight, misspelled words re-typed. All light switches need to be touched 4 times. I have to click my blinker in the car twice before turning. My counting usually is "1...2...3.....1", which is essentially 4, but I stick with the number 3 for some reason. Whatever I'm fixing, I must touch it 1...2.....3.....1, if I do not touch the object the right way the n I have to do it again till it's right. I do this with all of my habitual compulsions, "1...2...3....1". This became especially irritating to me when I went to the gym to work out.

Sometimes I think that people might notice my little habits but they don't until I get frustrated and draw attention to it. Like for example when I'm PMSing it gets especially worse. I can say that more than a few times I've not been able to empty the dishwasher because I've burst into tears out of frustration. The plates weren't dry enough yet or they were too out of order that I couldn't look at them. That's my main way of trying to avoid the OCD things I do. By not looking at them. I tell myself, "turn around and walk the other way before you look like a physcopath trying to fix all the shelves at Target".

Compulsions---

"OCD sufferers are aware that their thoughts and behavior are not rational, but they feel bound to comply with them in order to fend off feelings of panic or dread."

I'm aware of it, and that's the worst part. I know I don't need to count things or touch the doorknob and the light switch at the same time. But I do it anyways because it makes me feel better. In the past my friends and boyfriend have done little things to irritate my OCD like turning my picture frames sideways or moving things around so they could watch me fix them for entertainment. Of course I had to fix these things before something bad would happen. In most cases, my anxiety tends to be based off of fear that harm would come to my family or boyfriend. Otherwise, it makes me feel tense and I have to perform the task to feel relief.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not crazy and tortured. It's bothersome at times but its not taking me away from school, social settings, or life. I know there are people out there who have this mental disorder worse than me. That sounds so bad to me, "mental disorder". Really some people find it to be a good trait. Like my boyfriend likes how I tend to randomly clean his room out of compulsion. It can be handy and annoying.

I need to stop typing now before I re-type this sentence too.....too late. See you guys later.

I'm Not Crying, It's From My Eye Drops!

I was reading through a few of my old blogs via MySpace. I vividly remember writing out the blog from "April 15th 2008" in fact. My subject? Pink eye.

I'm not sure why but I'm prone to basically the same 5 recurring sicknesses throughout the year. Sinus infections, pharyngitis (it's the same as laryngitis but on the opposite side of your throat fyi), UTI's, pink eye, and ear infections. I suppose I'm lucky enough to avoid getting illnesses like the flu but still, these ones are pretty annoying if you ask me.

My dog just burped....fun fact. How adorable. We had pizza for dinner.

But anyways, my rotating illnesses suck. Especially the pink eye, I'd say its one of the most irritating things you can have go wrong. Why?

Pink eye, aka "conjunctivitis" sucks because...

1. You have to throw away all your make-up so you don't re-infect yourself. Make-up isn't usually cheap (depending on your preference) and it sucks to throw your favorites colors of eye shadow away--because that's always the one you use right as you get pink eye.
2. No wearing make-up. I don't have a problem with wearing no make-up when I leave the house but some girls rather cut an arm off.
3. Blood-shot eyes. You look high ALL THE TIME! I met my friend Nura's church group for the first time and I got alot of weird looks because of my eyes. So awkward.
4. The "Don't Touch Me" effect. You can spread it to anyone just by touching them. Boyfriends hate pink eye, so does your mother. So get some hand sanitizer and sit a few feet away from everyone else.
5. "How did you get poo in your eye?" This is the most irritating part. Someone smarta** always has to bring up the fact that pink eye is caused by fecal matter getting into your eye.

Urbandictionary.com defines pink eye as: "When someone farts in your face, causing poop articles to enter the eye, making it go pink"

The eye drops--which nobody enjoys---can be painful if you've got a nasty case like I did. Here's what I thought at the time.

"I got my eyes numbed n the doctor put this stuff in that made my vision all tinted yellow. Yeaaa, this was bizarre since I had no idea what this guy was tryin to look for or do. Of coarse he pulls out a black light n starts screwing with my eyes by holding them open [which I couldn't feel at all]. He finally rinsed my eyes so it wasn't yellow anymore though still numb, told us that since it hadn't gone away with the first prescription we had to get new $70 prescription eye-drops that BURN WHEN YOU PUT THEM IN. Great, buddy. Thanks, not only do my eyes itch n can't focus very well, but you're telling me that every 4 hours I have to put drops in my eyes that will burn---awesome."

Wooo I was so excited for those burning drops. You could feel them working, so much so that it was like it was setting every germ and every memory of a previous germ on fire. I think that most girls freak out about getting pink eye because of the make-up issue. Alot of people rely on make-up to "make" themselve pretty, or give them confidence.

"I havent been able to wear any make-up whatsoever since I got pink-eye. Luckily, I don't look like a completely different person without make-up like some people do....I hate it when girls think they have to wear make-up allllll the time. It's stupid n bad for your skin anyways. LOL it's hilarious when they go to the beach n freak out cuz it's running or it smeared or came off. I mean come on, dumbasses. If your face is a different color than your neck, there's something wrong haha. I've heard the name "cake face" used by alot of guys to describe some girls. Yay for not being one of those lol. I like knowing that my boyfriend thinks I'm pretty even without make-up on."

I love the fact that I have a boyfriend who still finds me attractive when I have a clean face. He likes when I have it on obviously but its not like I'm suddenly a hideous alien if I wipe it off. I don't need to "put on my face" every morning.

Well that's all for now. Perhaps I'll write again in a few days :] I better get off to bed so I can avoid the swine flu haha---yeaaaa right. Goodnight world, I hope you all are well.

Let's Be Rebels!

I don't often hear things like this from men, so I thought I'd share. Of course I was bored at the time, wandering youtube.com when I came across this comment:

"The human body is potentially perfect. It is our weakness that necessitates the use of drugs. The true rebels in music today will be drug, tat, and piercing free. Married, and lead noble lives with great discipline" - EdenTheoryRocks

It makes me think about how everyone young nowadays has to cling to something. Usually its drugs, which is sad. I've witnessed this countless times. I had a close friend go away to rehab and return only to relapse and not care. Disappointing to say the least. I watched my friends smoke pot and thought to myself, "how is that fun?" Then suddenly we all had to get in the car and go to Taco Bell because it was "bomb". I don't think I will ever understand why that word is used to describe food being good....it means explosion for godsake.

But what else are the girls and guys of our generation holding onto? I'd have say mommy and daddy issues. It's assumed that rebelling and causing our parents pain will make us feel better. I love my parents and have never seen the need to do this. I like having my parents trust me.

Why do we need to rebel from our parents? Is it even necessary? They did it too ya know, from their parents. Its just another endless cycle. "Let's do drugs! Let's have sex! I'll get my attention this way!" So you think your daddy didn't love you, and now you're in the car driving to get your 5th tattoo? Yea I know girls like that. Sadly I'm older than them. I know it'll turn into a nasty reminder in a few years once they aren't little stick figure girls anymore. The sad fact is that tattoos are there forever. UNLESS you pay out the a** to get it removed, slowly and painfully lazered off.

Some people just need to remember that their parents love them, and if they don't then someone does. When life gives you a sh**ty family, it gives you great friends. I consider myself lucky enough to have both amazing friends and parents. Someone out there does care about you, so don't be so fast to throw yourself down the metaphorical/theoretical stairs. Self-destructive behavior never helped anyone do anything.

I could go on for days about how the decisions we all make now really do affect us later. But I won't because nobody wants to read bitching about druggies and skanky girls. It's a known fact to most of my friends that I can't stand hanging out with or around girls (usually, but there are exceptions). I'm easily irritated by the attention seeking behavior that they project.

So what do you think? Do you think that getting that tattoo or doing drugs is gunna make you feel less angsty?
Probably not, but you're too young to care right? Too bad not thinking now will lead to......well you can find out for yourself. There's a consequence for every decision you make, so make smart ones. Don't just jump on the bandwagon. And by bandwagon I mean, don't go do drugs because you hear that "it's cool". Avoid the Hedonistic lifestyle, all that comes of it is emptiness and a few likely STDs. Look before you leap, think before you speak.

Thank you Incubus for stating it so well:
"The consequence is a bigger word than you think" - Consequence (album - A Crow Left of the Murder)

Time Change (guest blogger)

This was my first guest spot, and hopefully not my last for @beawarriorqueen's blog. I hope you enjoy it. She introduces it as a response to the big decisions and changes that are taking place right now.

We may only be 20 years old but there's some people who are getting married or having children!
:]

Did you ever have that original group of girls in junior high or high school that you spent all your time with? Boys were stupid so you had to stick together. Each had their personality. The soccer player; the church girl; the one who has to be the center of attention; the pretty one; the rich one; and the awkward nerdy two that stuck together more than the rest.
Yea, I was one of the awkward two. There wasn't really much of an option for me to escape it. Three years of braces, and hitting puberty -- later I was called the whore--though I'd done nothing to warrant being called "whore" except to have boobs that the others didn't. I can laugh about it now because at the time I'd been convinced I would be awkward, flat, and probably alone forever. But life, and puberty, said otherwise.
After time passed, we all went our separate ways. Some of us lost touch, others just didn't seem to care. There were bigger and better things ahead. Things that most of us didn't ever see coming until they happened. Break ups, fights, and relationships dashed on the rocks. It seemed that the only relationship that remained after all was said and done by the end of high school, was that my best friend and I – the other awkward nerdy one – were the only ones that had survived all the way through. The rich one moved up in the social order of high school (we didn't like that too much). When your friend walks past you with everyone else like you're invisible it hurts. The church girl went away to college far away where we still miss her a lot. The center of attention, well most of us had lost touch with her by the time college started. She's now getting married, which threw me off by how unexpected it was to hear. But I'm really happy she's found her man, he seems really nice.
This is such a strange period of life. From age 19-21, so much changes. Your friends go away or stay close for college. Work schedules clash and impact whether you ever get to see your friends. And after not seeing them for awhile things happen. Things? People get engaged, people make life decisions, people join the military. How do you react? The one getting engaged, upon first hearing that my old friend was getting married--I thought, "wow when we made our predictions she was so close to the bottom of our "who will get married first? list". I am a little jealous....being that I have my own romantic relationship going on. And this isn't like oh hey there we're dating, we've been together twice as long as the couple whose getting hitched this next year.
A little piece of me says it's not the right time and I know this very well but the other side says, "Why aren't I the first one? Why isn't this happening to me? Will it happen to me? How long do I have to wait?" I know I'm young, I'm poor, and have to wait. It'll be worth it when it does happen. No sense in hurrying, I'm only 20. Yet still, it's weird. I know I won't be attending the wedding being that we're no longer close friends, but I'll see the pictures afterward. They'll be smiling, and I can click the "like" button or leave a comment to say congratulations!
I'll just conclude my ramblings with this.
We all were so close before, years before, then life happened. Why are my relationships with other women always so difficult to keep up with? I guess that's why I shifted to being "one of the guys". It was easier, it was less drama. There was no more arguments over who liked who, or jealousy of what the other was wearing, no competition. But in the end, I look back and still see those original girls that I sat at lunch with my freshman year. All of us were so young, I looked like a 12 year old for crying out loud! Now, I'm just curious to see who will be next. Who will be the first one to have a baby? Generally the married ones are at the top of the list for babies, but you never know. Life sure likes to surprise you, doesn't it?

Vents Release Pressure

This is where I will release my thoughts and feelings about all kinds of topics.
Let's see how this goes, alright?
I call it "The Beach Vent" because without a vent, I might explode.

"When we long for a life without difficulties, remind us that oaks grow in contrary winds and diamonds are made under pressure" - Peter Marshall, tv host.