12th Birthday

I had quite a moment earlier today. Evan n me were about to take the dog on a walk. I stood by the sink, making a sandwich before leaving. He suggested that we not go all the way to the park. I felt myself turn red and my face scrunch up. My stomach sank into my feet. It's rare that I ever lose myself to my emotions. I burst into tears in fear of losing my dog. She turns 12 years old this year, and despite her always being a good happy dog....she is getting old.
I can't imagine her not being around. I can't imagine being able to ever replace her, but no one and no being lives forever. In another dimension I hope that there's pets that live as long as their masters. Because we don't get to have that luxury but I think someone out there should for the rest of our sakes.
Hip displasia, arthritis, allergies. Pills and peanut butter twice a day. Sometimes she stumbles or needs help to get her back legs up the steps. It endlessly worries me. My eyes water just thinking about it. Doggie is my sibling, my baby, my friend. How could anyone live without that companion? It's just so difficult to watch someone you love get old, human or furry friend. I pray I can continue to have a few more years :)
--Courtney