Graduate school.
What's been on my mind ever since transferring into a four year university is "this is it? That's all? How am I done?" I've learned so much since changing my major from History to American Studies--which by the way you can look up on Wikipedia for a longer description because it pains me to be able to accurately describe something so fantastic. It's an interdisciplinary major that studies American culture in all its silly ways (though not usually silly). My focus tends to be visual expressions of culture, i.e. film-tv-music.
Perhaps it is the half of me that urges me to keep going, along with the combination of knowing what lies in store after graduation with a bachelor's degree, telling me that it's the right thing to do. But then there's the other side trying to stress me out with doubts and questions. It's become an Angel vs Devil on my shoulders battle.
Can you even get in? It's competitive. There's only twenty people accepted.
Have you seen your grades? Bam!
But there's that admission essay and you're not that interesting.
First in your family to get a college degree? That's interesting enough.
I guess thinking about the future is still slightly overwhelming, but I want to get in and do it. Why not? I don't have any reason to put it off for a few years. Finishing college of all sorts and then being done forever, perfect. I don't want to wake up in ten years and wish that I'd done it, so to hell with it all. I'm going to apply and hope to God that I get accepted into the program.
I've never felt like the smart kid in the class and I know that it's always been an insecurity. My academic advisor says otherwise which is a boost in my confidence. So this, in a way, is to push myself. Prove it to myself. It's going to take alot of work and just as much determination.
Now back to my reading! Books on prosthesis don't exactly read themselves.
