Fools Rush In

Apparently the requirement of thoroughly knowing your partner before getting married is too time consuming for a lot of people. If you haven't had the time to interact, react, &/or adjust to your partner's habits and mannerisms....then man, you're screwed. Basically don't get married until you've been together for a year minimum. I said minimum!

Honestly, any amount of time less and your friends will ask themselves 2 things. "Is _________ in the military?" or "Is she pregnant?" Both are speculations that come up. Sorry but people generally ask "why?" when you do things suddenly in order to understand your logic or lack there of. What could be so terrible about waiting a bit longer before puttin' a ring on it? God forbid you find out that they do annoying things and aren't always a ball of sunshiny happiness. Emotions exhibit, therefore you should know all of them. Plus living at home awhile longer won't kill you.

If you haven't already addressed basic components and questions, then you shouldn't be getting married. Period. I glanced through this book for a laugh. Sex, work, gender roles, children, friends, money, etc. Oh and definitely do not get married because you're religious and want to have sex. That's a terrible decision.

By the way, your boyfriend/girlfriend/fiancée has all the same bodily functions that you possess. Just a human-to-human tip for ya.

Well, that's all folks. I wish you all good decision making skills and happiness!

Silly Comparison on Your Part

Once in awhile someone makes a jealous comment about those of us who are in long-standing relationships. They may not see it as jealousy but it sure reads that way. This week the comment was made by a friend that we all know is NOT having sex with his girlfriend yet. "Your relationship is based on sex".....oh really? Since when do you know how many times we have sex & etc? Hmmmm? No, my relationship is definitely not based on sex. Just ask my boyfriend haha.

Anyone whose ever been in a relationship for more than a few months knows that sex does come up eventually. It either happens or it doesn't. Everyone has their reasons on why they're not having sex. But hey, those of us that are in loving committed relationships usually do at some point.

I think its absolutely ridiculous for someone to propose that their relationship is stronger than mine because they aren't having sex. Especially when their relationship is much different and younger. We're goin on almost 4 years here, and they're barely past a year. It's up to them if they choose to be intimate, and vica versa. NONE YO BUSINESS!

So to the person who said this, sorry you and your partner aren't having sex. That's your issue to cover, not mine or anyone elses. Communication, trust, and lovea are much more important than having sex. Thoughts? Questions? Concerns?

Time Change (guest blogger)

This was my first guest spot, and hopefully not my last for @beawarriorqueen's blog. I hope you enjoy it. She introduces it as a response to the big decisions and changes that are taking place right now.

We may only be 20 years old but there's some people who are getting married or having children!
:]

Did you ever have that original group of girls in junior high or high school that you spent all your time with? Boys were stupid so you had to stick together. Each had their personality. The soccer player; the church girl; the one who has to be the center of attention; the pretty one; the rich one; and the awkward nerdy two that stuck together more than the rest.
Yea, I was one of the awkward two. There wasn't really much of an option for me to escape it. Three years of braces, and hitting puberty -- later I was called the whore--though I'd done nothing to warrant being called "whore" except to have boobs that the others didn't. I can laugh about it now because at the time I'd been convinced I would be awkward, flat, and probably alone forever. But life, and puberty, said otherwise.
After time passed, we all went our separate ways. Some of us lost touch, others just didn't seem to care. There were bigger and better things ahead. Things that most of us didn't ever see coming until they happened. Break ups, fights, and relationships dashed on the rocks. It seemed that the only relationship that remained after all was said and done by the end of high school, was that my best friend and I – the other awkward nerdy one – were the only ones that had survived all the way through. The rich one moved up in the social order of high school (we didn't like that too much). When your friend walks past you with everyone else like you're invisible it hurts. The church girl went away to college far away where we still miss her a lot. The center of attention, well most of us had lost touch with her by the time college started. She's now getting married, which threw me off by how unexpected it was to hear. But I'm really happy she's found her man, he seems really nice.
This is such a strange period of life. From age 19-21, so much changes. Your friends go away or stay close for college. Work schedules clash and impact whether you ever get to see your friends. And after not seeing them for awhile things happen. Things? People get engaged, people make life decisions, people join the military. How do you react? The one getting engaged, upon first hearing that my old friend was getting married--I thought, "wow when we made our predictions she was so close to the bottom of our "who will get married first? list". I am a little jealous....being that I have my own romantic relationship going on. And this isn't like oh hey there we're dating, we've been together twice as long as the couple whose getting hitched this next year.
A little piece of me says it's not the right time and I know this very well but the other side says, "Why aren't I the first one? Why isn't this happening to me? Will it happen to me? How long do I have to wait?" I know I'm young, I'm poor, and have to wait. It'll be worth it when it does happen. No sense in hurrying, I'm only 20. Yet still, it's weird. I know I won't be attending the wedding being that we're no longer close friends, but I'll see the pictures afterward. They'll be smiling, and I can click the "like" button or leave a comment to say congratulations!
I'll just conclude my ramblings with this.
We all were so close before, years before, then life happened. Why are my relationships with other women always so difficult to keep up with? I guess that's why I shifted to being "one of the guys". It was easier, it was less drama. There was no more arguments over who liked who, or jealousy of what the other was wearing, no competition. But in the end, I look back and still see those original girls that I sat at lunch with my freshman year. All of us were so young, I looked like a 12 year old for crying out loud! Now, I'm just curious to see who will be next. Who will be the first one to have a baby? Generally the married ones are at the top of the list for babies, but you never know. Life sure likes to surprise you, doesn't it?