November of Doom

So here's where things get interesting, difficult. You think that they up the ante during October for undergraduate midterms, but oh no, just wait til grad school. November is a new land to conquer, with far too many books to read all at once and zombified classmates. We must get over the hump to December! Then it'll be smooth sailing, downhill....a toboggan on a slope perhaps?

I'm not going to lie and say that December won't be bumpy, but it will certainly be 3 steps down from the current intensity level.

The stair climber has been turned up and my legs are burning. I refuse to fall off, but I still strain myself. Almost there.

"Checking this item off my list makes a difference," is what I tell myself. And oh thank the baby Jesus, Monday is a holiday! No classes means more time to get things done. It's all about that catch-up game. Though it's more of a get-ahead situation--or fly by the seat of your pants towards the flu and other sorts of misery.

I will not get sick! Hand washing, working out regularly, sleeping like I'm dead. Let's all say a little prayer right now for all the students heading towards their ski jump before that wonderous downhill to safety. Please Lord, let us all make it through December without losing sanity or succumbing to plague (don't you sneeze on that table!).

By the time Christmas rolls around next month, I'll be in vacation-mode. Laying on the couch by the beautifully decorated tree, listening to Manheim Steamroller like it's nobody's business. Until then, I'll be over here buried alive in books and 3 essays within a 2 week period. Good luck everyone.

Progress Report: 15 Before 25

Maintain a yoga schedule:
Yoga schedule isn't static but I've been able to go to yoga 2 days a week for the past 2 months. This is on top of going to the gym in general another 2 days per week. I'm amazed that I'm able to do this despite how mentally tired I am from school.

Try new things:
Though many peoole have been to Knotts Halloween Haunt or some other creepy festive event by my age, I've avoided it altogether. I don't like being scared, my imagination likes to torture me when the house creaks. Yet there I was standing in line for the LA Haunted Hayride this past weekend. We went on the Hayride and then through the Inbetween Maze--which is funny because my night vision is so bad that it negated anything that popped out at me. "Oh hello there, I can't even see what scary thing you're supposed to be!" It had seemed so intimidating before, but now I can say that I'm not scared of Halloween mazes. Nonetheless scary movies are still a no-go.

Run three 5ks:
Last weekend was the BubbleRun at the Pomona Fairplex, bright and early. My friend Ashley and I ran through 6 different colored bubble stations. Each was about the size of a standard driveway filled with a huge mass of bubbles! Giant colored bubbles! Hehehehe.

This coming weekend is the ColorMeRAD 5k at the OC Great Park by our house. Essentially a color run with color bombs and dust. This will be my first color run, hopefully not my last. It looks like I just need to do one more 5k after this to complete my To Do.

Straight A's:
Just received my first paper back this afternoon.....A! It's a good starting point for now but there's still 4 more papers to go before this semster is done.

Meandering

I hate this frustrating feeling. It's so stupid to stress out so much. Stress is not something found in my natural habitat. It seems like I've managed to successfully avoid it for 90% of my life.

It only strikes me in the form of self-doubt. In this case, it's been triggered by one simple assignment. Write a scholarly review essay that considers a number of articles &/or book, write about the "state of the field." But it's not simple when you've been wired to think and write in traditional research essay form. As I look for sources I find myself wandering through it all and changing my topic ever so slightly. Then suddenly it's a completely new topic. Hello? Brain? Stop undermining me when I'm trying to be productive!

Why is picking a field and narrowing it so difficult? T_T *bangs head against wall*

Part of me is pissed off that this isn't clicking in my head, and the other half asks why I'm even in grad school. Thanks self-doubt, you're a bitch.

15 Before 25

I recently came across WarriorQueen's (@beawarriorqueen) list of things she wants to do before turning 25 this year. She called it "25 before 25." Seems to be a great idea for setting goals and actually acheiving them. A few days later, I've got a list going too! It's practically a short-term bucket list for my year. An easy set up if you lean towards OCD at all. There are plenty of things that I feel I should have already done by this point in my life. Time slips by faster than it used to so why not try to cross a few items off your list on your way? Of course not everyone has the same number of things they want to do or can make into a manageable goal. Therefore my list is a "15 Before 25."

1. Go to a hockey game.
Because I've never been to one before. So why the hell not?

2. Run three 5k events.
I despise running but I know it's good for me. Why not try and make it fun by doing themed events. I've already registered for the BubbleRun 5k in October and the ColorMeRAD 5k at the beginning of November. That will put me at two out of three before 2014 arrives! Can't turn down 6 foot bubble walls and color powder explosions.

3. Take the dogs on a run once every other week.
My dogs are impossible to walk on a leash(s). They spaz, jump, and drag everyone down the street. I have managed to take them on runs, separately of course, but not on a regular basis. It would be good for them to get some time outside WITHOUT each other. Unfortunately they're extremely codependent and shouldn't be. I aim for every other week because I'm not always going to have time every single week. Sometimes the weather intervenes, or school work is higher on the priority list.

4. Read 3 classic novels.
There's a lot of novels that I've put off reading for a long time. Stories that come up time and time again in modern media. Yes, I've read The Great Gatsby and some Shakespeare....but I've never read Dracula or Treasure Island. "What?!" Oops. I've probably read 30 different vampire novels but not Dracula. How rude of me!

5.Watch Breaking Bad.
The series is about to end which means--easy binge watching! Everyone and their cousin has been telling me how great it is and how I need to watch it all year. "Eventually," I say. Might as well make it happen. Note: Shut up Whovians, the Doctor is on my watch list too.

6. Go to the San Diego Wild Animal Park.
We haven't made it a point to go see the lions-tigers-and-bears (oh my) in a few years. Maybe the tigers will be awake this time.

7. Go on a wine tasting trip.
Evan and I were gifted a northern California wine trip by his parents after he graduated college. This was about a year and a half ago. Two summers have passed and we have yet to venture to look through travel sites or set aside a weekend. We're pretty terrible at planning vacations together. The cost isn't even an issue since it's a gift. This needs to happen. I know I'll get wino wasted but it's a necessary evil.

8. Go kayaking in any body of water.
I have not gone kayaking since the 9th grade when I went to church camp at Hume Lake. Why haven't I done it again? Alas life has gotten in the way.

9. Maintain a yoga schedule.
Since recovering from my accident last October, I've been particularly focused on having good upper body strength. I was so limited for nearly 3 months that getting to the point of lifting a flimsy 5lb weights over my head was a big accomplishment. Hell, washing my own hair was like climbing Everest. Since then I've been gradually adding to my goals. This past August, I returned to yoga classes after far too long. It's actually helped a lot with the random lightning pains in my weak side. You don't realize how one broken bone can screw you over until it happens. With pain subsiding, I feel myself getting stronger. This goal isn't just for recovery though, I also consider it a good way to relieve stress. I'm entering my first year of graduate school and I understand that some of us may get tired or overwhelmed. I need this as a vent. Vents keep the pressure from causing disaster. PLUS it makes my abs feel awesome.

10. Go on a roller coaster that scares me.
I'm afraid of big roller coasters. I'm not sure whether it's because I think that I might puke up my lunch or if it's that Final Destination scene stuck in head. A little of both. The only way to get over a fear is to kick it's ass. A trip to Knott's Berry Farm is overdue.

11. New York.
I vividly remember saying, "I would hate New York." HA what a fool I was for thinking such a thing. Sure I wouldn't ever want to live there during winter but it's a hell of a place to visit from time to time. I've visited during the heat of May and the chill of mid-March. Each trip was different and fun in its own way. The first time was rightfully tourist location focused, and the next trip was a glimpse into simply living and existing in Manhattan. It's not Sex & the City glamorous but I did enjoy myself. Wandering bookstores and meandering through odd shops with distinct personalities. There's something wonderful about walking down the street and knowing that nobody gives a shit about what you're doing or wearing. So anti-Orange County. It's invigorating. The anonymity of city life is a welcomed break from the overbearing plastic people at home. Screw you South Coast Plaza cronies! Dear Harlem, expect me in the early summer of 2014.

12. Stay in on Black Friday and decorate the Christmas tree.
This is a mother-daughter tradition that has been interrupted for the past 2 holiday seasons because I had been working in retail hell. Remember those department stores deciding to open at midnight after Thanksgiving? Yea, that was me. Awake after a turkey dinner knowing that it was coffee time because customers are going to storm the gates at midnight for the door-bustiest deals around. This is a scene to behold for anyone interested in the collapse of humanity. This year I am free to do as I please. And that means I'll be at home putting a fake tree together with mom, blasting "Let It Snow" by Boyz II Men. There will be some Manheim Steamroller in there too.

13. Pay off some of my student loan debt.
I thank God that my parents were kind enough to finance my butt through community college but once I entered Cal State Fullerton....fly be free, good luck! So I've got myself a money pit that I am legally bound to fill now that I have my bachelor's degree on the wall. And being that I'm continuing to dig myself deeper via grad school, I need to start paying my loans down. I believe I currently owe about...oh say, the cost of a Ford Fiesta. Not an exorbitant amount like some students in private schools but debt nonetheless. Being a responsible adult about it is the best course of action.

14. Straight A's.
I may only be taking 2 classes per semester but this doesn't make getting fantastic grades any less work. I've gotten straight A's a few times but knowing that I did it in grad school means a lot more to me. There will be more reading, bigger papers, and possibly more thinking headache burnouts. Let's do this!

15. Try new things (Food, hobbies, activities).
I'm the queen of "no thank you maybe next time." There's not really any reason for it outside of my own stubbornness. So this year I want to try to say, "screw it, ok let's go!" instead of overthinking everything. I'll go with the age old "you'll never know til you try it." Note: this doesn't make me a Yes-man, I do need to stick to my studies enough to pull out some A's after all.

I aim to be tracking these goals via blog, Instagram, &/or Twitter as I go. If you have any suggestions be sure to comment.

Back in Black

It appears that I have neglected this page for far too long. My last post was dated September of 2012 and vented my thoughts on whether or not to choose graduate school. Tomorow is graduate orientation and I will be in attendance.

So I guess you've missed a lot of the possible ranty posts and my general scribblings about life. Luckily Blogger has an app that I can use at the drop of a hat for whatever I come across. This should improve my page, though my courses may get in the way of posting in general. It'll happen, that's life. I'm better off going out and living than sitting in a corner blogging. Blogging is very much like keeping a journal, and just as easily neglected.

I'd like to keep up with myself on here if at all possible along with my workload at school. Plus my job, which is now a part-time office position with my boyfriend's parents. No more retail for me. If you're interested in gross stories and other human nastiness, I have loads of whatthefuck-type stories I could tell from working in a department store.

Anyways, I'll start off with a post inspired by Ms Raewyn Warriorqueen. 25 Before 25! I'm about halfway through it right now, so there may be a segmented blog about it later.

Off to panic about what to wear for orientation,
Courtney

Contemplating More

More? Well of course by that I mean, more school.
Graduate school.

What's been on my mind ever since transferring into a four year university is "this is it? That's all? How am I done?" I've learned so much since changing my major from History to American Studies--which by the way you can look up on Wikipedia for a longer description because it pains me to be able to accurately describe something so fantastic. It's an interdisciplinary major that studies American culture in all its silly ways (though not usually silly). My focus tends to be visual expressions of culture, i.e. film-tv-music.

Perhaps it is the half of me that urges me to keep going, along with the combination of knowing what lies in store after graduation with a bachelor's degree, telling me that it's the right thing to do. But then there's the other side trying to stress me out with doubts and questions. It's become an Angel vs Devil on my shoulders battle.

Can you even get in? It's competitive. There's only twenty people accepted.

Have you seen your grades? Bam!

But there's that admission essay and you're not that interesting.

First in your family to get a college degree? That's interesting enough.

 

I guess thinking about the future is still slightly overwhelming, but I want to get in and do it. Why not? I don't have any reason to put it off for a few years. Finishing college of all sorts and then being done forever, perfect. I don't want to wake up in ten years and wish that I'd done it, so to hell with it all. I'm going to apply and hope to God that I get accepted into the program.

I've never felt like the smart kid in the class and I know that it's always been an insecurity. My academic advisor says otherwise which is a boost in my confidence. So this, in a way, is to push myself. Prove it to myself. It's going to take alot of work and just as much determination.

Now back to my reading! Books on prosthesis don't exactly read themselves.

The Lost Generation Crossover

I've read articles that have begun calling my generation, a lost generation. We are not the first to be trapped by the status of an ailing economy, and we will not be the last. Not because the world will always ruin your day and screw you over, but because that is the flow of life--good and bad take place. Sometimes you win and other times you lose. Because it isn't fair, by rule.

As I sit in my classroom, talking about cultural notions, myths, and theories, there is nothing but the moment of discussion. Speculation, thinking out loud. It's rather easy to talk out your ass, but some do submit worthy topics and ideas. Once I get home the typical conversation of "how was your day? How was class tonight?" comes. From time to time my dad asks me what I want to do after gradation. My answer is always the same--like many other students,. Frankly I have no idea. Hope for fulfilling employment. Somewhere nice with good pay, enough to move out and begin true adult life away from home. Simple wishes really. But my own outlook on this becoming a reality is bleaker than it used to be. Maybe it's the times, or what is called a life crisis. Or maybe I aim to be like an audience member going into the film with low expectations, if I think it'll be terrible then it may pleasantly surprise me. Who knows. He asks what others are thinking of doing for jobs after they finish school as well. That's slightly easier to answer because being a major within the humanities and social sciences does give the option of credential programs and future teaching. Though I do mention that most of us don't actually want to teach. Teachers should have a passion for their job, with a will to inspire the stubborn student. I wouldn't want to teach on the basic reason of being in charge of other peoples' children--parents are nuts. If I were to follow the path of the credential program, I'd want to teach at the university level. Here there is the ability to talk as adults, each student responsible, no parents to deal with. Now I've gotten off my topic, as usual.

I intended to simply post this excerpt from a Depression era book observing the time's youth culture to point out the similar environment facing our young people today. Perhaps you won't see the similarities, or you will. Either way I will have gotten you thinking about the future. We all want the same things: success, security, enjoyment. That never changes.

"As naturally as their voices broke and depended, our young men grew up in the assurance that education and hard work were the Open Sesame to respectable jobs secured by reliability and perseverance, to homes of their own, and to honored places in the eyes of their fellow-men. In the past few years many of them who are out of school today have no work, through no fault of their own.
Many others are engaged on slim part-time jobs so trifling in the time they fill and the money they produce as to have little or no meaning to the young workmen.
Bleakly our youth has been marking time while the clock ticks away its bright years, the good years of plowing and sowing and sweating. They are runners, delayed at the gun. They have lost so much time at the start that only the exceptional can challenge the finish. (4)
…..They have seen people who wanted to work--and could not--and people who did not want to work--and would not--living on the same level of government bounty" (5)"
--- Maxine Davis, The Lost Generation

Any of it sound familiar? There are generally three options when faced with class consciousness. Keep telling everyone that it'll get better, redefine success, or violent revolution. I would hope that if there is a revolution that it won't be violent. But at this stage in our country's troubles, something has to happen. Occupy Wallstreet, Tea Party groups, recession, wars....there's a lot going on. Nobody knows the future--but we do make the future, one decision at a time. And for godsakes people, if you can't afford something do not buy/lease it. We all need to stay within our means, and that goes for the country itself. Be accountable. Alright, signing off. Have a lovely evening.

World War Z

Just received my order from Amazon and I'm excited. Apparently it's organized into entries from different people, therefore an oral history as the title suggests. I've yet to read a zombie book so this should be interesting!
Also, I just finished Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. It was a good mix of history and fantasy, with an awesome ending twist :)
Both of these are currently in the process of becoming feature films. Tim Burton is directing the Lincoln film; and apparently Brad Pitt is signed onto World War Z as a main character.

08/07/2011

This is a draft that was never published following Rocksie's death. I can still read it now and feel the sadness that had weighed on me. I felt so guilty for not saying goodbye, but there was no way of knowing that there would be an accident. It was the first day of our family vacation at the lake when we got the call. She took a fall on the stairs and had to be put down at the emergency vet clinic by some friends. This was the only time in my entire life that I've seen my dad cry. He was the one who came to tell me she was gone. Coming home and walking back into the house was misery.

She was almost 13 years old and had a good life. We couldn't make her stay with us and hurt still. I like to think of her now as my angel puppy. I see her in the expressions of our new dogs, Olive and Oakley. But they're so differentfrom her. Dogs are really just furry children, each with their own personality.

Courtney

08/22/2013

****************

She's been gone for a week and it feels like forever. Given, we were on vacation at the time of her passing so I never had to see her in any pain. But the fall on the stairs was likely painful since it was the final straw for those poor wobbly back legs. Surgery wasn't an option, especially with no guarentee of her walking on her own again. I don't think she'd be happy if she couldn't scamper around n play like always.

Onto Book #9!

I've just finished book #8 in the Southern Vampire Mystery Series, aka the "True Blood" books. So far each book has been strong and I'm hoping to feel the same about Dead And Gone (book #9). Rather not say much about what's going on plot-wise or give away any spoilers. But if you like the HBO show and like to read, I'm sure you'll enjoy the books. Of course you must remember that television shows are commonly altered versions of whatever literature they've been "based on". So don't get pissed when the two aren't exactly the same.
As of right now, I'm about a third of the way through Dead And Gone. I like it better than the previous already, probably because there's more Eric. By the way, if you're a Bill fan...sucks for you. It seems like Bill is becoming a less important character since no longer being romantically involved with Sookie. Perhaps you can blame it on the fact that it's from her point of view? Anyways...
Once next week hits, I should be done with this one and onto the next (Dead in the Family). So hopefully if time permits I can pick up a few books for vacation! Hooray vacation!
Has anyone heard about any light/fun books for me to bring along? Oh god, what will I read once I finish this series? Oh right, school will be in session by then and it'll all be lecture related---booo.

Kids and Social Sites

You log onto your social networking site to check for comments or other notifications. All clear for now except a slew of "likes" on a status. But you see that rare little pop up notification, "new friend request!" A bit excited you click to see who wants to hop on the friendmobile with you. The picture appears to be some random 7-11 year old with sunglasses on. To be fair you check out their full page to be sure. Yep, they're 9 years old and wants to be your friend. I've had this happen on MySpace, Facebook, etc. Not only is it creepy but it makes you wonder how this child got onto the site in the first place.

My first issue with kids on the internet is not the obvious go-to that a parent might pull out like, "there's pedophiles online!" Because that's true and if you were a good parent, you'd simply teach your kids not to talk to strangers whether it's in real life or online.

Reason number one: My big issue with these random kids trying to be cool and friend a million unknown people is that honestly, it's against the rules. There are age restrictions on many sites like Facebook, for example is 13 & up. I'd recommend staying off Facebook until the age of 16 just because of the ridiculous drama and hormonal rollercoaster that affects everyone from age 11 to 16.

Personally, I grew up in what I see as the last generation of playing outside and calling your friends' home phones. I had no internet til I was in 9th grade, then it was so slow that the only thing to do was use AOL Instant Messenger. I clearly remember the advent of cellphones for all, i.e. everyone and their mother wanted a Motorolla Razor. No one in my family had a cellphone until about...2006. I got my first cellphone during my junior year of high school, it only made calls (gasp!). So I've made my point with that one....technology plus children, not the best idea til they have emotional control over themselves. It'll save them and their parents a lot of trouble.

Reason number 2: go outside and play with your friends, you'll miss it when you're older. As I get older I come across things that make me stop and think. "Why did we all want to grow up so fast? Seriously?" The simple life of calling your friend's house and walking over is likely dead but I think kids today can retain the little bit that's left. Avoid living on the internet, it's so easy to get caught up in posting what you're doing and taking pictures FOR your page. I mean come on, really? You're destroying your self-worth in the end by making it based on what others see on your page. You're a person, not a webpage. Having your "friends" post on your page does give you a little dose of happiness from the interaction but unfortunately you shouldn't rely on it. Logging on to find out that gossip was spread about you and "everybody" hates you, or even some kid discovered how to photoshop your picture inappropriately (typically dick drawings or fat jokes). The possibilities are endless online.

Overall, finding out you've been friend requested by a child makes you feel like a pedophile even though you fancy people your own age. Do kids under the age of 16 NEED a page? No, it's strictly optional for all of us. Hell, do we even need a page? No, but it makes life easier for keeping up with old friends and planning get togethers--or Facebook stalking. The internet has it's good and it's bad. There's photo sharing with relatives but there's viruses, there's fun games to play but there's also creepers. It's ultimately up to the person in charge of the computer, that should be the parent.

Complaints Against Me

Tonight there were 2 complaints made. Here are what I've come up with as my possible factors or reasons.

"You never want to do anything"
1. When I try to plan something, nobody has money for it or they have work (broke college students)
2. When I plan things, nobody shows up (ex- my 20th birthday everyone bailed)
3. Severely different music tastes for concerts (ex- Tom Petty)
4. Money. Fun costs money most of the time
5. I don't want to play WoW
6. Heavy drinking is not on my fun list (puke)
7. Talking n sitting doesn't count as fun for most people anymore for some reason.

"You've been so irritated lately"?
1. Hot, sweaty, disgusting weather
2. Being ignored often
3. Lack of time with friends
4. Losing my ring at work
5. Suddenly having to pay $300 for car registration after having my hours cut
6. The downstairs of my house is still under construction aka annoying
7. Paranoid about my dog not being able to walk.

If there are any other complaints, please tweet them to me.

Unfortunate Fools

There's always a sad story once in awhile about some poor kid who dies of a drug overdose at a party or a big event. Of course it happened to a 15 year old last year at the Electric Daisy Carnival and the company (Insomniac) ended up having to go through all sorts of problems with the Los Angeles police, etc. Basically they moved this year's EDC out to Vegas. An obvious choice for a massive three day carnival/ electronic music festival.

I went to EDC in 2008 before it grew into a multi-day massive and had the time of my life. Granted, everyone around me was 'rolling' (E), on mushrooms, or 'candy flipping' (both). I was completely aware of this by the size of their puils, nonetheless everyone was happy and friendly. There wasn't a single random person that couldn't appreciate a smile and a hug. Well, except the kid on acid who was scared by our friend making dolphin noises....

Massives are by definition, massive. Literally. The 2008 EDC that I attended had about 70,000 participants. This led to horrible cellphone reception and delay, as well as crowding. If you had AT&T your call wouldn't go through and text messages took an average of five minutes to receive. This made meeting up with friends difficult.

Now back to my starting point--the kids who overdose. It's very easy for someone on drugs with little experience to end up in a bad place. All it takes is one person to take the wrong pill, or too many. Some dealers actually sell laced pills or fake pills to unsuspecting teenagers. This happens because dealers like money and teenagers tend to be stupid. Simple equation there. I've heard stories of people getting meth-laced pills, and it wasn't a happy story though no one died. Not having enough water or drinking too much water can also cause complications.

All this combined into one situation for a 'rolling' teenager can be difficult to sort through. Losing track of your friends, getting lost, losing your phone or money. Honestly I don't understand how anyone goes into an event with +70,000 other people and thinks, "yea I can do this." I know a bunch of people who did it somehow, but my cautious personality doesn't allow me to go there. I stayed on the safe side and always went sober.

EDC was my first rave, and my favorite. You could feel the vibes of expressive freedom and though it sounds super cheesy, love. At that time there were still people going (most on drugs) to experience the music and have a good time. As my rave days progressed I saw this slipping away and gradually it wasn't fun anymore. More douchebags looking for a high, more young girls dressing up like Rainbow Brite hookers. My last trip to a massive ended with friends taking bad pills and getting sick while I limped around with bloody knees in the cold 3am temperatures of January. I had seen better days, for sure. Those on drugs percieved me as a downer or a party pooper, not realizing that I'd been hurt thanks to a security gaurd running into me as he chased someone. In fact, the scars are still visible on my feet from skidding across pavement---not cute.

What's my point? It's not the event coordinators or companies that are to blame for such problems and deaths of anyone in attendence. They provide a venue to enjoy music, go on rides, and have fun. There is also generous security at the gates that pats you down worse than any airport security member would. "Shake out your bra please....we have to check your pants, thank you." Everything is done correctly, but the problem is the consumer. Many are just fools who don't stop to think. Those that manage to get in with intent to sell or consume E, mushrooms, acid, etc. It happens because people do what people do, whether they're responsible human beings or not.

If you die from it, it's your fault. I won't feel bad or pity someone who chose to partake. I just read about a similar case this year at the EDC taking place in Texas. There were so many calls for health emergencies that they were forced to shut down the whole place. It is an individual's responsibility to be aware of and chose to put something into their own body. Food or drugs, it's a choice. Apparently most the people attending weren't thinking or readily prepared.

Reminds me of the teenager who drowned in Lake Mission Viejo a few years ago. He was on acid and apparently he and his friends failed to think about being around the water. Some said, "poor guy, he was such a great guy" I'm sorry but a 'great guy' isn't fool enough to take a bunch of illegal substances to the point of incoherence.

All in all, I enjoyed the good times throughout 2008-2009 before giving up on the deteriorating rave environment. Maybe I'm just lucky enough to be able to live without needing any substances to enjoy life. i'd say I'm proof that none of those people needed to take pills to have a good time. It was their choice, a foolish one for many.

Summer Reading

Now that the semester is over and all I have to do is go to work, I find that my calendar is looking a bit sad. Going to the gym and watching movies only takes up so much time. Hence, I called the 800 number on the back of my Barnes & Noble gift card that's been in my wallet for likely the past two years. Forty bucks, awesome!

So tonight after dinner I headed over to Barnes & Noble at the Spectrum to hopefully find something interesting. Entertainment value was key, and after reading for classes all spring the last thing I wanted to buy was another history book!

It took awhile after wandering through the sections mocking the silly titles and cover art with my brother, Colin, and Sophia--but I picked one. Being that I'm a True Blood fan, I decided on the written source itself: 'Dead Until Dark' by Charlaine Harris. Plus I got a new bookmark! Hoping its a page turner to take up some time over summer! Feedback &/or review later.

Fools Rush In

Apparently the requirement of thoroughly knowing your partner before getting married is too time consuming for a lot of people. If you haven't had the time to interact, react, &/or adjust to your partner's habits and mannerisms....then man, you're screwed. Basically don't get married until you've been together for a year minimum. I said minimum!

Honestly, any amount of time less and your friends will ask themselves 2 things. "Is _________ in the military?" or "Is she pregnant?" Both are speculations that come up. Sorry but people generally ask "why?" when you do things suddenly in order to understand your logic or lack there of. What could be so terrible about waiting a bit longer before puttin' a ring on it? God forbid you find out that they do annoying things and aren't always a ball of sunshiny happiness. Emotions exhibit, therefore you should know all of them. Plus living at home awhile longer won't kill you.

If you haven't already addressed basic components and questions, then you shouldn't be getting married. Period. I glanced through this book for a laugh. Sex, work, gender roles, children, friends, money, etc. Oh and definitely do not get married because you're religious and want to have sex. That's a terrible decision.

By the way, your boyfriend/girlfriend/fiancée has all the same bodily functions that you possess. Just a human-to-human tip for ya.

Well, that's all folks. I wish you all good decision making skills and happiness!

Home Improvement

For some reason anytime we start working on the TV room, Rocksie proceeds to get up on the couch n shake like we're in a thunderstorm. When we first started on the room in...December, she shredded her Christmas present toy. Seems to be that any sort of home improvement or decorating makes the dog freak out. Silly doggie, we're trying to make the house better!
Until we finish the TV room project, I guess she'll just continue to get up on the couch n panic. To higher ground!

Hair Commercials

There's all these hair removal products on the market and some of them probably don't even work. Like Smooth Away pads, I felt great for a day after basically sandpapering myself. Nair burns like a bitch or your hair grows back funky.
Then I think, is it really so difficult to just shave your legs? Nope, it's not.

Finally Leaving

The idea of leaving Blockbuster for a new job was so exciting, and it essentially still is. But I've been here a year and a half, naturally you become friends with your long-term coworkers. This is the part that makes me sad.
Dan, Greg, n Naim. I'm gunna miss them a lot. Hopefully my new coworkers will be as awesome and all as different in personality as they have been.
No more closing Monday nights with Dan blasting  Radiohead n discussing politics. No more reminding Naim of when our school winter n spring breaks are. No more weird ass customers with Greg. No more talking about animated movies with Nick.
Weird. Change is exciting and I'm ready for it but I'm sad to lose the time with the friends I made.

Birthers

If the President was a white man just like the previous ones, then nobody would be asking for his birth certificate. Fact.
Racism still exists, also a fact.
Get off your high horse with your pointing fingers and vote Obama out of office during the next election if you're so upset. That's what elections are for after all.
Assholes.

12th Birthday

I had quite a moment earlier today. Evan n me were about to take the dog on a walk. I stood by the sink, making a sandwich before leaving. He suggested that we not go all the way to the park. I felt myself turn red and my face scrunch up. My stomach sank into my feet. It's rare that I ever lose myself to my emotions. I burst into tears in fear of losing my dog. She turns 12 years old this year, and despite her always being a good happy dog....she is getting old.
I can't imagine her not being around. I can't imagine being able to ever replace her, but no one and no being lives forever. In another dimension I hope that there's pets that live as long as their masters. Because we don't get to have that luxury but I think someone out there should for the rest of our sakes.
Hip displasia, arthritis, allergies. Pills and peanut butter twice a day. Sometimes she stumbles or needs help to get her back legs up the steps. It endlessly worries me. My eyes water just thinking about it. Doggie is my sibling, my baby, my friend. How could anyone live without that companion? It's just so difficult to watch someone you love get old, human or furry friend. I pray I can continue to have a few more years :)
--Courtney