15 Before 25

I recently came across WarriorQueen's (@beawarriorqueen) list of things she wants to do before turning 25 this year. She called it "25 before 25." Seems to be a great idea for setting goals and actually acheiving them. A few days later, I've got a list going too! It's practically a short-term bucket list for my year. An easy set up if you lean towards OCD at all. There are plenty of things that I feel I should have already done by this point in my life. Time slips by faster than it used to so why not try to cross a few items off your list on your way? Of course not everyone has the same number of things they want to do or can make into a manageable goal. Therefore my list is a "15 Before 25."

1. Go to a hockey game.
Because I've never been to one before. So why the hell not?

2. Run three 5k events.
I despise running but I know it's good for me. Why not try and make it fun by doing themed events. I've already registered for the BubbleRun 5k in October and the ColorMeRAD 5k at the beginning of November. That will put me at two out of three before 2014 arrives! Can't turn down 6 foot bubble walls and color powder explosions.

3. Take the dogs on a run once every other week.
My dogs are impossible to walk on a leash(s). They spaz, jump, and drag everyone down the street. I have managed to take them on runs, separately of course, but not on a regular basis. It would be good for them to get some time outside WITHOUT each other. Unfortunately they're extremely codependent and shouldn't be. I aim for every other week because I'm not always going to have time every single week. Sometimes the weather intervenes, or school work is higher on the priority list.

4. Read 3 classic novels.
There's a lot of novels that I've put off reading for a long time. Stories that come up time and time again in modern media. Yes, I've read The Great Gatsby and some Shakespeare....but I've never read Dracula or Treasure Island. "What?!" Oops. I've probably read 30 different vampire novels but not Dracula. How rude of me!

5.Watch Breaking Bad.
The series is about to end which means--easy binge watching! Everyone and their cousin has been telling me how great it is and how I need to watch it all year. "Eventually," I say. Might as well make it happen. Note: Shut up Whovians, the Doctor is on my watch list too.

6. Go to the San Diego Wild Animal Park.
We haven't made it a point to go see the lions-tigers-and-bears (oh my) in a few years. Maybe the tigers will be awake this time.

7. Go on a wine tasting trip.
Evan and I were gifted a northern California wine trip by his parents after he graduated college. This was about a year and a half ago. Two summers have passed and we have yet to venture to look through travel sites or set aside a weekend. We're pretty terrible at planning vacations together. The cost isn't even an issue since it's a gift. This needs to happen. I know I'll get wino wasted but it's a necessary evil.

8. Go kayaking in any body of water.
I have not gone kayaking since the 9th grade when I went to church camp at Hume Lake. Why haven't I done it again? Alas life has gotten in the way.

9. Maintain a yoga schedule.
Since recovering from my accident last October, I've been particularly focused on having good upper body strength. I was so limited for nearly 3 months that getting to the point of lifting a flimsy 5lb weights over my head was a big accomplishment. Hell, washing my own hair was like climbing Everest. Since then I've been gradually adding to my goals. This past August, I returned to yoga classes after far too long. It's actually helped a lot with the random lightning pains in my weak side. You don't realize how one broken bone can screw you over until it happens. With pain subsiding, I feel myself getting stronger. This goal isn't just for recovery though, I also consider it a good way to relieve stress. I'm entering my first year of graduate school and I understand that some of us may get tired or overwhelmed. I need this as a vent. Vents keep the pressure from causing disaster. PLUS it makes my abs feel awesome.

10. Go on a roller coaster that scares me.
I'm afraid of big roller coasters. I'm not sure whether it's because I think that I might puke up my lunch or if it's that Final Destination scene stuck in head. A little of both. The only way to get over a fear is to kick it's ass. A trip to Knott's Berry Farm is overdue.

11. New York.
I vividly remember saying, "I would hate New York." HA what a fool I was for thinking such a thing. Sure I wouldn't ever want to live there during winter but it's a hell of a place to visit from time to time. I've visited during the heat of May and the chill of mid-March. Each trip was different and fun in its own way. The first time was rightfully tourist location focused, and the next trip was a glimpse into simply living and existing in Manhattan. It's not Sex & the City glamorous but I did enjoy myself. Wandering bookstores and meandering through odd shops with distinct personalities. There's something wonderful about walking down the street and knowing that nobody gives a shit about what you're doing or wearing. So anti-Orange County. It's invigorating. The anonymity of city life is a welcomed break from the overbearing plastic people at home. Screw you South Coast Plaza cronies! Dear Harlem, expect me in the early summer of 2014.

12. Stay in on Black Friday and decorate the Christmas tree.
This is a mother-daughter tradition that has been interrupted for the past 2 holiday seasons because I had been working in retail hell. Remember those department stores deciding to open at midnight after Thanksgiving? Yea, that was me. Awake after a turkey dinner knowing that it was coffee time because customers are going to storm the gates at midnight for the door-bustiest deals around. This is a scene to behold for anyone interested in the collapse of humanity. This year I am free to do as I please. And that means I'll be at home putting a fake tree together with mom, blasting "Let It Snow" by Boyz II Men. There will be some Manheim Steamroller in there too.

13. Pay off some of my student loan debt.
I thank God that my parents were kind enough to finance my butt through community college but once I entered Cal State Fullerton....fly be free, good luck! So I've got myself a money pit that I am legally bound to fill now that I have my bachelor's degree on the wall. And being that I'm continuing to dig myself deeper via grad school, I need to start paying my loans down. I believe I currently owe about...oh say, the cost of a Ford Fiesta. Not an exorbitant amount like some students in private schools but debt nonetheless. Being a responsible adult about it is the best course of action.

14. Straight A's.
I may only be taking 2 classes per semester but this doesn't make getting fantastic grades any less work. I've gotten straight A's a few times but knowing that I did it in grad school means a lot more to me. There will be more reading, bigger papers, and possibly more thinking headache burnouts. Let's do this!

15. Try new things (Food, hobbies, activities).
I'm the queen of "no thank you maybe next time." There's not really any reason for it outside of my own stubbornness. So this year I want to try to say, "screw it, ok let's go!" instead of overthinking everything. I'll go with the age old "you'll never know til you try it." Note: this doesn't make me a Yes-man, I do need to stick to my studies enough to pull out some A's after all.

I aim to be tracking these goals via blog, Instagram, &/or Twitter as I go. If you have any suggestions be sure to comment.

Back in Black

It appears that I have neglected this page for far too long. My last post was dated September of 2012 and vented my thoughts on whether or not to choose graduate school. Tomorow is graduate orientation and I will be in attendance.

So I guess you've missed a lot of the possible ranty posts and my general scribblings about life. Luckily Blogger has an app that I can use at the drop of a hat for whatever I come across. This should improve my page, though my courses may get in the way of posting in general. It'll happen, that's life. I'm better off going out and living than sitting in a corner blogging. Blogging is very much like keeping a journal, and just as easily neglected.

I'd like to keep up with myself on here if at all possible along with my workload at school. Plus my job, which is now a part-time office position with my boyfriend's parents. No more retail for me. If you're interested in gross stories and other human nastiness, I have loads of whatthefuck-type stories I could tell from working in a department store.

Anyways, I'll start off with a post inspired by Ms Raewyn Warriorqueen. 25 Before 25! I'm about halfway through it right now, so there may be a segmented blog about it later.

Off to panic about what to wear for orientation,
Courtney

Contemplating More

More? Well of course by that I mean, more school.
Graduate school.

What's been on my mind ever since transferring into a four year university is "this is it? That's all? How am I done?" I've learned so much since changing my major from History to American Studies--which by the way you can look up on Wikipedia for a longer description because it pains me to be able to accurately describe something so fantastic. It's an interdisciplinary major that studies American culture in all its silly ways (though not usually silly). My focus tends to be visual expressions of culture, i.e. film-tv-music.

Perhaps it is the half of me that urges me to keep going, along with the combination of knowing what lies in store after graduation with a bachelor's degree, telling me that it's the right thing to do. But then there's the other side trying to stress me out with doubts and questions. It's become an Angel vs Devil on my shoulders battle.

Can you even get in? It's competitive. There's only twenty people accepted.

Have you seen your grades? Bam!

But there's that admission essay and you're not that interesting.

First in your family to get a college degree? That's interesting enough.

 

I guess thinking about the future is still slightly overwhelming, but I want to get in and do it. Why not? I don't have any reason to put it off for a few years. Finishing college of all sorts and then being done forever, perfect. I don't want to wake up in ten years and wish that I'd done it, so to hell with it all. I'm going to apply and hope to God that I get accepted into the program.

I've never felt like the smart kid in the class and I know that it's always been an insecurity. My academic advisor says otherwise which is a boost in my confidence. So this, in a way, is to push myself. Prove it to myself. It's going to take alot of work and just as much determination.

Now back to my reading! Books on prosthesis don't exactly read themselves.

The Lost Generation Crossover

I've read articles that have begun calling my generation, a lost generation. We are not the first to be trapped by the status of an ailing economy, and we will not be the last. Not because the world will always ruin your day and screw you over, but because that is the flow of life--good and bad take place. Sometimes you win and other times you lose. Because it isn't fair, by rule.

As I sit in my classroom, talking about cultural notions, myths, and theories, there is nothing but the moment of discussion. Speculation, thinking out loud. It's rather easy to talk out your ass, but some do submit worthy topics and ideas. Once I get home the typical conversation of "how was your day? How was class tonight?" comes. From time to time my dad asks me what I want to do after gradation. My answer is always the same--like many other students,. Frankly I have no idea. Hope for fulfilling employment. Somewhere nice with good pay, enough to move out and begin true adult life away from home. Simple wishes really. But my own outlook on this becoming a reality is bleaker than it used to be. Maybe it's the times, or what is called a life crisis. Or maybe I aim to be like an audience member going into the film with low expectations, if I think it'll be terrible then it may pleasantly surprise me. Who knows. He asks what others are thinking of doing for jobs after they finish school as well. That's slightly easier to answer because being a major within the humanities and social sciences does give the option of credential programs and future teaching. Though I do mention that most of us don't actually want to teach. Teachers should have a passion for their job, with a will to inspire the stubborn student. I wouldn't want to teach on the basic reason of being in charge of other peoples' children--parents are nuts. If I were to follow the path of the credential program, I'd want to teach at the university level. Here there is the ability to talk as adults, each student responsible, no parents to deal with. Now I've gotten off my topic, as usual.

I intended to simply post this excerpt from a Depression era book observing the time's youth culture to point out the similar environment facing our young people today. Perhaps you won't see the similarities, or you will. Either way I will have gotten you thinking about the future. We all want the same things: success, security, enjoyment. That never changes.

"As naturally as their voices broke and depended, our young men grew up in the assurance that education and hard work were the Open Sesame to respectable jobs secured by reliability and perseverance, to homes of their own, and to honored places in the eyes of their fellow-men. In the past few years many of them who are out of school today have no work, through no fault of their own.
Many others are engaged on slim part-time jobs so trifling in the time they fill and the money they produce as to have little or no meaning to the young workmen.
Bleakly our youth has been marking time while the clock ticks away its bright years, the good years of plowing and sowing and sweating. They are runners, delayed at the gun. They have lost so much time at the start that only the exceptional can challenge the finish. (4)
…..They have seen people who wanted to work--and could not--and people who did not want to work--and would not--living on the same level of government bounty" (5)"
--- Maxine Davis, The Lost Generation

Any of it sound familiar? There are generally three options when faced with class consciousness. Keep telling everyone that it'll get better, redefine success, or violent revolution. I would hope that if there is a revolution that it won't be violent. But at this stage in our country's troubles, something has to happen. Occupy Wallstreet, Tea Party groups, recession, wars....there's a lot going on. Nobody knows the future--but we do make the future, one decision at a time. And for godsakes people, if you can't afford something do not buy/lease it. We all need to stay within our means, and that goes for the country itself. Be accountable. Alright, signing off. Have a lovely evening.

World War Z

Just received my order from Amazon and I'm excited. Apparently it's organized into entries from different people, therefore an oral history as the title suggests. I've yet to read a zombie book so this should be interesting!
Also, I just finished Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. It was a good mix of history and fantasy, with an awesome ending twist :)
Both of these are currently in the process of becoming feature films. Tim Burton is directing the Lincoln film; and apparently Brad Pitt is signed onto World War Z as a main character.

08/07/2011

This is a draft that was never published following Rocksie's death. I can still read it now and feel the sadness that had weighed on me. I felt so guilty for not saying goodbye, but there was no way of knowing that there would be an accident. It was the first day of our family vacation at the lake when we got the call. She took a fall on the stairs and had to be put down at the emergency vet clinic by some friends. This was the only time in my entire life that I've seen my dad cry. He was the one who came to tell me she was gone. Coming home and walking back into the house was misery.

She was almost 13 years old and had a good life. We couldn't make her stay with us and hurt still. I like to think of her now as my angel puppy. I see her in the expressions of our new dogs, Olive and Oakley. But they're so differentfrom her. Dogs are really just furry children, each with their own personality.

Courtney

08/22/2013

****************

She's been gone for a week and it feels like forever. Given, we were on vacation at the time of her passing so I never had to see her in any pain. But the fall on the stairs was likely painful since it was the final straw for those poor wobbly back legs. Surgery wasn't an option, especially with no guarentee of her walking on her own again. I don't think she'd be happy if she couldn't scamper around n play like always.

Onto Book #9!

I've just finished book #8 in the Southern Vampire Mystery Series, aka the "True Blood" books. So far each book has been strong and I'm hoping to feel the same about Dead And Gone (book #9). Rather not say much about what's going on plot-wise or give away any spoilers. But if you like the HBO show and like to read, I'm sure you'll enjoy the books. Of course you must remember that television shows are commonly altered versions of whatever literature they've been "based on". So don't get pissed when the two aren't exactly the same.
As of right now, I'm about a third of the way through Dead And Gone. I like it better than the previous already, probably because there's more Eric. By the way, if you're a Bill fan...sucks for you. It seems like Bill is becoming a less important character since no longer being romantically involved with Sookie. Perhaps you can blame it on the fact that it's from her point of view? Anyways...
Once next week hits, I should be done with this one and onto the next (Dead in the Family). So hopefully if time permits I can pick up a few books for vacation! Hooray vacation!
Has anyone heard about any light/fun books for me to bring along? Oh god, what will I read once I finish this series? Oh right, school will be in session by then and it'll all be lecture related---booo.