Most of the time I consider myself to be pretty tolerant of other people as far as friendships go. You can be obsessed with whatever artist or musician, smoke or drink, single or not. Doesn't really make a difference. To be perfectly honest, you can be an asshole or the nicest person in the world. I've been asked many times "how can you stand being friends with _______?"
"Best friends", they tend to be similar in thinking, like my friend Nura or Breanna. Both quirky and smart, we shared an interest in film and a few high school classes. Even though both are what I call "my wandering friends". This refers to the fact that both of them have traveled alot in the past few years, mainly because after graduating high school Nura who moved to Ethiopia for almost a year then detouring through Europe on her way back to California. Besides that Breanna now lives on in Monterey's Air Force base or training center, I'm not sure how they specify it there. I'm yet to visit.
Moving on here...I often lose contact with these people, and reconnect after extended gaps or do the monthly hang out session type dealio. Only through our mutual efforts do we remain friends.
My "conflict friends" are another story. These are the people that you hang out with for generally short periods of time or your brain will explode. Whether its because of their obnoxious, over-the-top personality or whining too much. Everyone has at least one or two friends like this. Usually they're just so high energy that it wears you out.
"The dumb ones", yes I said dumb. You love them but man they're just dumb sometimes. This friend is often subject to being combined with a "energizer bunny". Drinking too much or getting in trouble is funny to them. At this point in time I find that this friend gets annoying really fast because you want to tell them what you think but you don't want to be mean about it. So by avoiding voicing your opinion, you ultimately stop telling them things and become distant. I have more than a few of these and yea they get annoying after awhile but I never break off the friendship.
"Omg what happened" people. We all think it in our head but nobody will say anything out of politeness. No elaboration necessary, ten bucks says you know a few too. Suddenly falling off the map then popping up with any of these; having a kid, getting fat, large tattoos, religious obsessions, etc. There is no way to ask what happened without sounding like a complete asshole and starting a shitfest.
"Druggie friend"--No explanation needed for this fellow. He or she likes drugs, commonly the stoner in a group of friends. When they pick you up and start heading to a business center you know what's up. Roll down the windows and hope you don't get any secondhand smoke. Gross but one of the nicest people. If you run into an old classmate like this, they generally remember you and want a hug. I've never quite understood how that works since most stoners are pretty slow reacting.
All of these above people. I am friends with. ALL OF THEM. Why? Where did they come from? And I think I might have figured it out. It's not overly complicated. I didn't have a jacked up childhood and my parents never fought or divorced. Everything was great. Apparently this attracts people with the opposite experiences to me (majority). My boyfriend has said I had "the perfect childhood" compared to his experience. My brother has this too but its worse enough to call it the "trainwreck problem". If you've got problems then you'll end up talking to him about it. I think this is the big reason he likes psychology. Continuing on...
People are too picky and unforgiving of others. Its not that I put my trust in just anyone that I become "friends" with, its the effort that the other person shows. The amount of meaningful talk instead of texting. The inside jokes and understanding the others body language. Enjoyment and humor. Essentially being able to read each others' moods and tell when something is wrong. These things make a friendship.
I fear that so much of this digital age shit is starting to impact the younger generations negatively. Speaking for my own age group I know that the advent of AOL Instant Messenger and MySpace opened up a whole can of worms for the world of communication. How often do we all actually have those meaningful interactions, talking in person--not just texting? I wonder if anyone still passes notes or girls still have passbooks with their friends. I still have two passbooks in my cabinet and its hilarious to read what we thought was so important.
This upcoming generation is losing out on all of that and most likely going to suffer from alot of boredom. If I can read the complete summary of who you are on Facebook then why bother meeting you? Hanging out? What will I ask you if it answers all my questions? It seems to make actual true interaction pointless.....we'd all be on our phones anyways. Ugh.
I think that I choose to put up with just about everyone, with the exception of the people I see as unrelatable. You choose your friends. I choose my friends. But I don't think we really choose who we get along with, its more of a temperament issue and I'm the golden retriever that's happy sitting next to anyone.
